Today I'll Embrace The Rain (If Only Just For You)
by Pariscores
Summary: The rain seemed to be nothing but a constant reminder of everything that went wrong in his life. "Ben! Come outside with me!" And then there was Rey. Modern AU. Rated T for Use of Forbidden F Word.


**Author's Note: It's raining where I live, so why not? And when I say it's raining, I mean it was like a week ago when I started this. Yep, I'm that slow of a writer. Also, Unbetad just like everything else I post so enjoy my mistakes.**

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He hates the rain. Has for as long as he can remember. It's too wet, cold, loud, and keeps him from doing anything productive for the majority of the day considering the city's weather schedule. Why he chose to move back to New York, he doesn't know.

A part of him he constantly ignores does though.

Ben sighs and glances up towards the window where the first few sprinkles of rain begin to tap on the glass. It all started with that damned phone call three years ago from his mother.

He contemplated ignoring it, but that retched part of him that was never fully able to cut all ties with his mother, the part of him that refused to change his phone number or name like his mentor suggested, got the better of him. No matter what, he'd never truly get rid of the boy that was Ben Solo.

With a reluctant hand, he slowly picked up his phone and answered with an annoyed greeting. He had half expected it to be another one of her pleas to come and visit. It had been well over ten years since he had last seen his parents.

What he hadn't anticipated was his mother's crying voice to come through. Nor did Ben expect her to call from the hospital where they were treating his father after a heart attack. He'd hung up quickly after letting Leia know he was on his way to New York.

The six hour flight from San Diego to New York City was excruciatingly slow. The time from the airport to the hospital was even worse.

But arriving just in time for his father's heart rate to flatline was the thing that crushed him.

Ben never had the best relationship with his father. They'd never seen eye to eye, with Han disagreeing with most Ben's choices. He had wanted his son to follow in his footsteps of being a pilot, but Ben was set in making his way into law school and becoming a successful lawyer like his grandfather. The two would clash more often than not, and most of his life was filled with bitter and petty arguments that usually ended in one of them storming out of the house. A majority of the time, it was him. One of the only things he had gotten from his father was his instinct to flee whenever something went wrong, and he hated it. But no matter how many times Ben left, he always came back.

Except for the one time he hadn't.

He remembers that night so clearly it almost hurts. The budding spat about something so small and insignificant had lead him to leave in the middle of the night when his parents had long went to bed. He took whatever he could fit in his backpack and the money he had been saving since he was fourteen and left, leaving behind only a small note with the words, ' _Sorry for being such a disappointment -Ben,'_ scrawled hastily on it. And then he was in his old Ford truck that he had dubbed _The Finalizer,_ driving away from his home, the only sound being that of the hard rainfall pattering against his windshield.

He hadn't looked back once.

Well, until now that is.

Sighing for what feels like the thousandth time in the past hour, Ben hesitantly rips his gaze from the window to the bright yellow mug cradled in his hands, the black coffee inside long gone cold, and frowns.

Perhaps, he muses, the reason he has grown to hate the rain is because of every horrible memory attached to it.

When he was six and learned of his grandma Padmé's death, Ben was stuck inside because of a rainstorm.

Two years after that during his grandfather's funeral where his tears were barely concealed by the sprinkles of water.

Thunder booming the first time his father had slapped him after he talked back to him when he was twelve.

At eighteen when he left home for good.

Ten years later when he was on his way to the hospital Han was admitted to, it started raining halfway through the taxi ride. On the same day, the silence in the room was drowned out by the harsh weather and Leia's sobs as she was grieving over her husband.

Then, the downpour never seizing, continuing throughout the three days after Han's death and during his funeral.

The rain seemed to be nothing but a constant reminder of everything that went wrong in his life.

"Ben! Come outside with me!"

And then there was Rey.

Ben blinked a couple of times before looking up, his gaze locking on to hazel eyes that were shining with excitement.

He quirked an eyebrow and tilts his head slightly. "And why, might I ask, should I?"

"Because it's raining!" She exclaims, hands coming up to rest on her hips. "And because I said so."

"Rey," Ben tore his eyes away from hers to stare at the window. "You know how I feel about rain..."

Rey huffed and crossed her arms over her chest, though her gaze softened slightly. "I know you don't like it," she murmurs, "but please? For me?"

She's doing it again. Begging in that same tone that made it impossible for him to deny her anything. And she knew that, _dammit_.

He relented. "...Fine."

Her eyes immediately lit up. "Thank you Ben!" And she scurried off, in search of her raincoat and boots.

Chuckling quietly at her antics, Ben rose from his seat at the dining table and made his way to the kitchen to place his mug in the sink. He dumped the cold remainder of what was left of his coffee and watches the dark liquid swirl down the drain. His thoughts drift back to the moment almost two and a half years ago when he had first met Rey.

He was taking Chewie out for a walk, the old mutt becoming restless after spending the majority of the day inside while Ben unloaded his things out of the truck into his new home. It was a standard two-story house located in the suburbs, although it was secluded from other buildings. Not that Ben really minded at all.

Three months after Han's funeral, he had decided to move back to New York City in order to be closer to his mother. He told her that it was about time he finally came home, and that he didn't want Leia to be alone. But they both knew the unspoken truth behind his words. He was tired of running away. Tired of _being_ _alone._

So here he was, black leash in hand being tugged around by the massive brown dog as they made their way to the nearby park. "Chewie! Slow down, would you?" Of course, this only encouraged the damn mutt to go faster. "Chewie!"

Distracted as he was, Ben didn't notice the graying clouds gathering over the area, a sign that a storm was coming. It was only when a drop of water landed in his eye, forcing him to try and blink it away, that he acknowledged the change in weather. The one drop was followed by others, and in little time it was pouring on him and Chewie. The scruffy thing didn't seem bothered at all by the rain as he was biting at the air trying to catch the drops, tail wagging eagerly.

"Perfect," he muttered, "this is just great." Ben kicked a nearby pebble away from him and watched it skid across the empty street. This was fine. Everything was fine. _Just fine._

 _...Fuck._

Too absorbed in his thoughts, it took him longer than he would like to admit to realize that he was no longer getting wet, and the rain was making a tapping sound, muffled slightly.

Slowly, he lifted his head and was met with an onslaught of bright _yellow_.

"Hey." Ben jumped slightly at the voice. "I noticed you were having a bit of trouble, so I thought I'd help you out."

He looked over his shoulder just in time to see the woman behind him grin, her arm outstretched in order to fit both of them under the umbrella she held. The familiar flushing of his cheeks came full force as he tried to rush out a response.

Turning to face the mysterious stranger, Ben sucked in a deep breath. "Oh, um, thanks," he stammered out, and he can't help but cringe at his own awkwardness.

"No problem," she replies. "My name's Rey." She extends her free hand for him to shake.

He hesitates for a second before grasping her hand in his. "Ben." He tries not to think about how his hand engulfs hers, nor the warmth that seems to radiate off of it.

Ben tells himself he's not disappointed when she lets go.

Rey nods, "Ben. Are you new here? I haven't seen you around before." Her nose scrunches slightly, and it's then that he notices the dusting of freckles adorning her face. It suits her, complementing both the golden color of her skin and hazel eyes.

Catching himself staring, Ben cleared his throat and averted his eyes to the floor. "Uh, yeah. I just moved here today, actually.

She hummed and turned her attention towards Chewie who was still distracted by the raindrops. "And who is this big guy?"

"This is Chewie." At the mention of his name, Chewie halted his ministrations and whirled around to give Rey his attention. He sat in front of her, tail still wagging and barked.

"Interesting name."

"He was my father's dog. I didn't really get to hear the story behind it though." And it was true. When he got back to the city and was lead into his old family home, he was immediately toppled over by the dog. When the hell had they even _gotten_ a dog? Seeing the questioning look on his face, his mother had explained to him that Han got Chewie a year after he had left. Ben tried to hold back the overwhelming guilt he started to feel.

"Well Ben, Chewie. Welcome to the neighborhood."

"Thanks," Ben shifted from one foot to another. "Do-do you live around here?"

"Oh no, I'd never be able to afford living here. I was visiting some friends. They live down the street."

"Oh." He couldn't even deny the disappointment that he felt.

"Well, as much as I love talking to you, I have to admit that I'd rather be out of the rain. Can't say I'm dressed for it," she laughed. "Come on, I'll walk you home."

"Uh," Ben shook his head slightly, "no, it's fine, really. You don't have to do that."

"Hey, who's holding the umbrella here?" Rey raised a brow and smirked. "Besides. I want to. Now come on, lead the way."

Figuring there was no use arguing, he begrudgingly accepted the offer. "Fine, but I get to hold the umbrella. You look like you're having a hard time trying to cover the both of us."

"Deal!" She shoved the umbrella in his hand. "Now lead the way!"

They walked in a comfortable silence, which surprised Ben. He knew he didn't have the best social skills, if any at all. How was it that he was more comfortable around a stranger he had met not even an hour ago rather than someone he has worked with for a _decade_?

Then again, he really hated almost everyone he had worked with in the First Order Law Firm. Especially that weasel Hux, the damn ginger bastard. Just thinking of the insufferable man made Ben's eye twitch.

He had many regrets, and working for First Order was one of them. Trusting Snoke was another.

Forcing himself to derail from those thoughts, Ben swallowed thickly and tried to focus on anything else.

It was just a pure coincidence that he chose to focus on the woman next to him out of the corner of his eye. Really, it was.

Halfway through the walk to his house, Rey had taken Chewie's leash from him. She didn't seem to have the same amount of trouble controlling the animal as he had. Huh. Well, now he knows that it's just him that was the problem. Do all animals seem to have some sort of issue with him? Yes. The answer must be yes, they do.

It wasn't fair. Really.

Ben had to admit that he was drawn to Rey. She had a certain aura around her that screamed mystery, yet was still bright and happy. It was… _light._ She was light. It both intrigued and terrified him. Terrified him to no end.

Yet he found that he didn't care. He wanted to learn more about her to the point where he couldn't explain why, just that he _did._

All too soon, they were in front of his home and under the front porch. Ben offered the umbrella back to Rey and took Chewie's leash back. "This is me I guess."

"Well, it was great meeting you Ben," Rey said, grabbing her umbrella from Ben's hand and turned around, making her way down the steps.

"Wait!" Rey paused and looked back at Ben, who looked slightly embarrassed by his outburst. "Uh," he ran a hand through his hair as his face flushed, "if you want, I can drive you home once the rain... lets up a little?"

Her eyes widened at his offer and she spun around to face him. "No, no! You don't-I don't want to be a bother, really!"

"You're not a bother, trust me," he chuckled. "And besides, I want to." Ben smirked, repeating her words from earlier. He held out a hand towards her, "so, what do you say?"

A small smile made its way onto Rey's lips as she nodded. "Okay."

"Ben!" His head snapped up and he heard the squeaking of Rey's rain boots echo throughout the hallway as she ran into the kitchen. She stumbled in front of the counter and grabbed a nearby chair to help steady herself. When she was certain that she would not fall over, Rey glanced up at Ben and groaned. "What's taking you so long! You're wasting time Ben! We're going to miss the rain!"

"It's been raining non stop for two days," Ben sighed, rolling his eyes, "and I hardly doubt it's going to end anytime soon."

"Oh really? And how do you know?"

"It's called a weather app," he deadpanned.

"Blah, blah, technology, blah. Will you just hurry up already?"

"Alright, alright, I'm going." His quiet mutter of, "how do you always end up getting what you want?" was drowned out by her energetic shout of, "yes!"

"Go on ahead. I'll catch up."

Rey quickly shot out of the room while calling back, "you better hurry, slowpoke!" In a matter of seconds he heard the familiar slam of the front door. Ben huffed out a laugh and strode towards the same door Rey had exited out of moments before, sidestepping stray toys Chewie had left behind along the way. He stopped in front of the metal coat rack Rey had built months ago. It was rustic and a bit lopsided, but he loved it all the same because it brought something to the home that was distinctly _her._ Ben stopped himself from admiring it for too long and grabbed his black raincoat and matching rain boots, a vast difference from Rey's own bright yellow coat and green boots.

Not wanting to keep the woman outside waiting any longer, Ben slipped on his coat and quickly changed shoes when he caught sight of the familiar yellow color. Reaching out, he grabbed the umbrella, the memories from his first encounter with Rey coming back to him, and smiled. Ben tucked the umbrella under his arm and opened the door where the pattering sound of the rain amplified.

As he stepped out and softly closed the door behind him, he could see Rey standing a little ways in front of him out in the open. The rain was pouring hard yet she didn't seem bothered in the slightest, only accepting.

Opening the umbrella, Ben held it over him and continued down the front porch steps trying to make as little sound as possible. The harsh splatters of rain could be heard as they collided with the obnoxiously bright surface although it went unnoticed by him. The only thing he concentrated on was Rey.

By the time he reached her side, Ben had lowered the umbrella so it rested by his side. The heavy rain whipped across his face and forced him to wipe his face multiple times just to see clearly. Ben glanced at Rey through the corner of his eye and quietly observed her. Her eyes were closed and head tilted slightly upwards as she let the water splatter against her skin, a small smile plastered on her lips.

Slowly, Ben reached out and clasped her hand in his, squeezing it gently. Rey's eyes opened at the contact and he can see the barely contained excitement within the hazel depths. Her hand squeezes back.

Leaning towards her, he brushes his lips against her temple and his heart swells at her bubbly giggle towards his actions. His lips are soon replaced with his forehead as he presses it against hers.

"I love you," he whispers, so quietly that it could have been drowned out by the volume of rainfall around them, yet Rey hears him nonetheless.

"I know." And she smiles so brightly that it takes his breath away.

Yes, Ben decides as he rubs his thumb against the back of her knuckles. He'd embrace the rain if _only_ just to keep her smiling.

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 **Author's Note: Welp, I've been dragged into this fandom. Welcome to hell. But I love it.**


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